R.I.P. Working Parent Apologies

From almost the moment I became a parent, I quickly learned there is an unspoken scorecard of how and where you show up. 

I have three kids. They know the drill. When I am on an important work call, unless the house is on fire, there should be no interruptions -not a sound, not a squirmish, not a peep. Many employers say they support working parents, right until they have to deal with your family directly. I don't mean the company picnic. I mean, when the school calls you three times in rapid-fire fashion- which means you have to jump off your work call because you know someone is either in trouble, broken or bleeding. Or the unplanned stomach flu that rips through the entire house, and you need to reschedule your meetings for the day- or worse, the week. I have yet to meet a stomach flu that agrees to be scheduled. The moment being a parent becomes inconvenient to work- your kids are sanctioned as the ultimate career distraction -and working from home is somehow deemed a gateway drug to an unproductive employee. 

As a working parent, I have worked from home on and off for years. I can be insanely productive regardless of whether it is a regular workday, a snow day, a sick day, a school administration day (which I can never figure out), or the mothership of parenting - summer break. I am confident in my ability to hit deadlines and manage my workload accordingly. I have quiet places in the house where I go when I need to soundproof my surroundings- and quiet places in my house my kids go if necessary. (I'm not going to lie- the dogs are a wildcard.) There is a well-orchestrated plan to provide the facade of an acceptable, traditional work environment and convince the doubtful that I am a serious professional- even from my home office.

Then came COVID. And practically the entire world found itself working from home with their families in tow. And although every working parent has their own unique experiences, challenges, and nuances- work largely got done. It was no longer taboo for the dog to bark on the Zoom call or the teenager to walk by in the background half-dressed. (Only me?) The jig was up. From executive to entry-level, all working parents have real, live families, kids, pets, and an Amazon driver who always rings the doorbell mid-meeting and triggers the dog into a full-out barking offensive. Everyone has an organized, three-ring circus in the background -because that is what life with a career and kids is. 

If I had to pinpoint the silver living of COVID- and trust me, it's hard- I, like many working parents, will no longer apologize or seek unspoken forgiveness for being a working parent. It does not make me unprofessional or distracted. It makes me human -with some mad multi-tasking skills. Yes, I have three amazing, unscripted kids who did not come with a handbook or an instructional slide deck. This is real life. Real families. Real shared human experiences. You can have a high-performing team of working parents that outwork the competition from their living rooms -even if the dog barks on the Zoom call.